~temptation from within~

I shall give up

2004-07-26T15:11:00.000+08:00

[ Dear blog, this might just be my last entry. I hope that you have enjoyed my company. I did. See you when the time is ripe. ]

ARGH.
thats what i first thought.
But come to think of it
i think that i'ts only best for her.
i shall not interfere
in their relationship.
But just give up.
And walk away.
Maybe when that day comes,
i might think differently,
but i'm going to make up my mind,
to make sure i don't.
So here continues the life of solitude,
and ends the life i've tried to grasp.
I give up.
She won't ever know my feelings.
I hope not.
Cause if she does,
I pray she doesn't guess who this referes to.

-The End-

Lonely Soul

2004-07-24T23:47:00.000+08:00

I walked out,
knowing ignorance is bliss.
But i saw her face
through the windows of the bus.
I threw the thought behind my head,
carrying on with my life.
I went to the concert,
thinking it'll be refreshing.
But my neighbour saw her ex,
in the hands of another girl.
She cried and my peace was shattered.
Then the concert played the songs,
songs which evoke memories.
Combined with her saddening presence,
Her face pushed to the front of my mind.
I thought of how we went through,
the good and the bad,
how things went before it ended.
When i returned to reality,
i realise one thing.
That all this while,
i received many things,
but lack 1 thing.
Love.
Parental love,
has to be earned,
freindly love,
has to be cheated,
and real love,
i can never grasp.
Just let me have it once.
She broke it once,
but i just want to feel it back.
Breaking promises aren't me.
But for this time,
Just let me do it once.
Cause i just need to spill everything out.
Even though i guess it won't happen.

Pissed

2004-07-22T19:19:00.000+08:00

When all that you have tried,
worked hard for,
just turns into dust.
How do you feel?
I struggled to keep myself alive,
i went through numerous dangers,
but what am i left with?
Nothing.
Now, as i look back at what i have achieved,
I believe that all that is gone in one blunder,
one mistake.
Stupid me.

Sorry is the hardest word

2004-07-19T22:14:00.000+08:00

I shall pioneer a new way of blogging. Later on, i shall introduce another way. Enjoy.

Fear

2004-07-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

Get out of me.
Stay away.
I want my life back.
I want my peace back.
Don't steal it.
Please,
someone,
help.

Time

2004-07-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder,
How long 3 weeks is?
Guess it really is long.
But sometimes,
its better if one side is happy.
Go enjoy these 3 weeks.

-dedicated to someone

Rock with cracks

2004-07-09T15:21:00.000+08:00

A rock,
As hard as it may be,
there is bound to be cracks.
Yet these hard rocks tend to cover it up.
By trying to overlap it with a layer of joy.
When the sweet wind blows,
with healing aid,
These rocks in turn hide their cracks.
They do not want the wind to know
nor does it want it to help.
But the wind can't just die down,
until it sees the rock standing again.

Sleeping tiger Crouching Ass

2004-07-05T20:51:00.000+08:00

Rush Hour

2004-07-05T20:45:00.000+08:00

The time is running up,
the clock is ticking,
I have to stop,
before the sun sets in,
If i don't,
The world will break,
And so will be the all of humanity.

A responsibility i didn't wish i had,
but fate has chosen me,
to carry this burden,
And what choice do i have,
but to finish where others left off.

Here comes apocalypse,
The end of the world,
And thus ends my chatter,
for its my turn to bid,
Adieus Amigo .

Mixed feelings

2004-07-02T15:28:00.000+08:00

Here is where everthing becomes complicated.
Here is the alpha and the omega.
You do not see the light,
for darkness surrounds.
You wear a mask,
to shield your face.
But once its on,
all you see is the setting of the sun
and the rising of the moon.
What does it all mean?
Who's that crying girl over there?
"Hey there. Why are you crying?"
"Nobody loves me. Nobody wants me."
"Don't worry, i'll be your friend."
"Really?"
"Yeap"
Then we played for long hours
until the sun sets.
"I got to go home." I said
"Here is something for you"
A red sea shell landed on my hand.
A red sea shell?
Wonder what it all means...

Sandakan Threnody

2004-06-11T15:50:00.000+08:00

"To evoke is to call forth; to bring to recollection imginatively; to summon a spirit by invocation. Perhaps we are evokers of a forgotten past, a past erased and evaporated. We evoke what could not be said before."

Pain

2004-06-02T07:51:00.000+08:00

It comes in forms unknown to one.
But brings discomfort when it comes.
Then it takes pleasure away for a while.
But returns it when help arrives.

It tears down the system in the body,
bringing many to their knees.
The world may stop because of them,
but they carry on with it still.

The most common type of pain,
need not me to say it out.
It strikes the heart of every lover,
who had been jilted.
or have been cheated.

One wonders when it will stop,
this unbearable pain from the heart,
All i know for sure is that,
the pain resides in my heart.

The Fact of Life

2004-05-31T12:01:00.000+08:00

It is the truth,
you can't run from it,
you can't hide from it,
but only accept it.

It comes like the wind,
gentle but quick.
It does'nt tell you when it comes,
but only lets you know when it is here.

The road is bumpy,
shaky and rough.
You struggle through it,
sustaining injury,
but still,
you must carry on.

When the fork comes,
you ask yourself,
"where do i go from here?"
there might be signboards to help you.
but the final choice is with you.

Sometimes rocks appear,
obstucting you.
They block the path,
that leads to success.
Whether you choose,
to climb the rock,
or maybe take a different route.
It all is up to you.

The ending is near,
yet it is far.
"Press on comrades!"
is what they say.
Yet many give up,
along the way.

Why, some might ask,
i tell you,
the reason they failed
is becasue,
they did'nt understand,
the true meaning,
of the word life.

Addiction

2004-05-28T17:11:00.000+08:00

The game is on,
You just cant stop,
Your fingers move,
while your mind swirls.

You pressed the buttons,
in desperation,
wanting to finish
the opponents.

But when the clock ticks,
and chimes at night,
You know well,
that you got to stop.

But the desire is strong,
to carry on,
and you just go on
as if its the norm.

When people come,
to communicate,
you shut the door,
right in their face.

Whether its right or wrong,
you just dont care.

Now that its said,
i want to warn,
do not be addicted,
for you will regret.

Secrets

2004-05-19T22:22:00.001+08:00

Keys to the locks of our hearts,
We hold safely to ourselves.

Some let it out to best friends,
but can they be sure that
Best friends are trustable?

Some hold the secrets of others,
but letting it go is so tempting,
and if they do,
they regret,
and the worse victim of all
is the person who gave the secret.

Brand New Day

2004-05-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

Sadly, the old has to go.
While the new has to come.
A brand new day.
For the brave hearted.
But another torturous day
For the faint-hearted.
Exams pass,
but results come.
What may come,
be it good or bad,
let my heart be at peace i hope.